First Things: Finding your Ring Of Keys moment

Tuesday night we opened the musical Fun Home at the Fisher Theatre.

This is absolutely one of my favorite musicals because I can really relate to the main character, Alison, as she tells the story of her family, her coming out experience, and dealing with her father's closeted sexuality and the price it paid on their family.

Now, my story is different. To my knowledge neither of my folks had closeted sexuality issues - but we had / have many many issues... which is really the reason this musical resonates with so many people. Yes it's a coming out story, and yes the Bechdel's have specific issues, but what family does not have issues and to be honest, who doesn't have something they can relate to Alison's realization that she's gay?  The story is quite universal when you boil it down to its base.

There is a song in the musical called Ring Of Keys. It is about young Alison's experience seeing what the script calls an "old school butch" walk into a diner and her immediate connection to her. She was 8, maybe 10 at the time. She didn't know that she was gay, probably didn't know that the woman she saw was gay, but she had an immediate, fulfilling, sense of herself.

In that moment she had the calm, heartening, acknowledgment of "I'm like her." There was someone in the world she could relate to and that was it.  Ring Of Keys makes me cry every time I listen to it. I have had these moments, many times. Not just in a sexual way -but in a self-aware, reassuring, moment that this person I'm talking to, or I'm seeing, is LIKE ME. We are connected on a deeply human level and I know more about who I am because they exist at this moment, in this space, in my life.

There are a wealth of other things to talk about from this show. I could write for days. But this celebration of the human condition, of our connection with each other, of our need to see ourselves as a part of something greater than ourselves, as like our brothers and sisters, as not alone in the world... this gives me profound joy. It is cause for celebration. It is something to seek out, find and cherish.

And see Fun Home if you have not. It is the BEST show on our season this year and many people are going to pass it up because it is an unfamiliar name/story. Don't pass it up.

http://www.broadwayindetroit.com/shows/fun-home

First Things: Times of Joy

On Friday night I had the privilege to attend the official opening night performance of Dot at Detroit Public Theatre. Dot is a story about family's matriarch dealing with her gradual decline into dementia and Alzheimer's - and all of the relationships that a family typically struggles with during the holidays.  Written by Colman Domingo, the play is wonderful and I cannot recommend it enough. Here is the info - go.

I was especially touched as my family deals with our grandmother's affliction with these same things - though her situation is far more along than Dot's.

In the play, there is a point where one of the character's boyfriends accepts Dot's incorrect assessment that he is her long-passed husband - and when she wants him to dance with her to an old Judy Garland song, the boyfriend lovingly plays along while the family watches in confused sadness. But for Dot - it was a moment of joy, to have her husband back in her arms - if even a mirage. Adam, the character, did not deny her mirage or her joy, but took the moment to see her happy.

Having lost a lot this year, I have learned to embrace joyful moments in times of pain. Hell, I've learned to accept joyful moments in times of joy. When situations change, and when times get hard, memories of good and wonderful times are the echos we have to the good in our lives.

As we enter this week of Thanksgiving, I want to be thankful for times of joy - from the moment they begin to long into my memory. And I pray those in my life and those I care about have moments of joy to outnumber, and carry them through, times without.

First Things: Find your comfort zone

Comfort.

In circles talking about leadership and inspiration comfort is something that is occasionally given a bad rap. And it's true - we excel, grow, and succeed when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone. In many ways this is spot-on. You don't know what you can do until you challenge yourself.  The old adage "Do something that scares you..."

There is, however, much to be said for the down time. For the peace, for the rest.  While breaking out of our comfort zones in our profession, in our relationships, in our psyche - we also need to take time to FIND our comfort zone for renewal.

Bodybuilding is a process of exhaustion and rest, tear and heal, burn it up and cool it down.

I know that I spend a lot of time and effort worrying if I'm doing enough to push myself - I'm always thinking that I'm not doing enough... I'm not trying hard enough, I'm not pushing myself, I'm failing at this or that. And I forget to rest, to find a place of comfort.

We need healing, reflecting, and periods of quiet thankfulness for our ability to break out and succeed... or even to just appreciate who we are today.

Our comfort zones are part of our journey forward, do not neglect them.

First Things: Movement of the heart

A friend of mine very recently lost his mother after a relatively sudden and quick bout with cancer.

He was telling us about preparing meals for his family and his mom as she was in her last days and how much joy it gave him to be able to do something for her that she had done for him.

I could relate.

During the week after my mom came home from the hospital and we were in hospice care I got to make several meals for her and for my dad and sister. Our aunt and uncle brought food as well and after she passed, other neighbors brought food and various other rather boring but necessary items to help us get by.

Being able to do such a simple thing to take care of my mom in her last days gave me a wonderful sense of joy and peace. And I know that she appreciated it, and even more that she felt how much we all loved her in those last days.

And I think that's the point.  We do not have to go to extreme lengths to show and receive love. A very simple act can allow us to move someone's heart. And welcoming even the most simple thing can allow our heart to be moved.

First Things: Grassy Lots

Last night a couple of friends and I went to see The Price Is Right Live at The Masonic Temple in Detroit.

The show was alright, it was about what I expected. We had fun, none of us won anything, but a lot of people were very excited and cheered loudly for a little bit. Good Time. 

But the show came and went and left me thinking about the grassy lots of Detroit.

If you know anything about Detroit over the past 20-30 years, you know that the area surrounding the Masonic Temple has been, let's say, 10-20 square blocks of the worst parts of Requiem For a Dream or Trainspotting. It has not been a place you'd want to be without a group of friends, a gun, and lots of daylight.

Last night parking was scarce so I parked 2 blocks north of the theatre on a street that was for the most part abandoned. But just ahead of where I parked was a small building and through the windows sat white table cloths adorning well appointed tables with modern decor and candles around. It was 4:00, only a few people were in there.  We came back to my car at 5:15 and it was packed with well-dressed suburbanites and urbanites enjoying dinner before a night on the town.  Their cars parked next door on a grassy lot.

All around me on this street, Peterboro, were grassy lots.

The City of Detroit is full of grassy lots.  They are everywhere.

Empty spaces that once held businesses, homes, apartment buildings. All gone as the tide of economic, cultural, and racial change swept through the midwest.

Today, in these empty spaces waits opportunity. Like the open fields of an 1800's land rush, these spaces wait for someone to claim them as their own.

And people are doing that. Block by block the city is returning to life. People are taking chances and digging their roots into those grassy lots and building up a community again breathing hope into places once filled with despair.

First Things: Love each other

"This is my command: Love each other." - John 15:17

In many areas of our country today there is a lot of strife. People are not taking the election of Donald Trump very well, and for the most part those who are protesting are doing so calmly and respectfully. But others are not, and those who oppose the protesters aren't being so thoughtful or respectful in their words and actions either.

"Love each other" is a fairly simple command that carries a lot of weight and responsibility.

Love Each Other

It means we respect.
It means we listen.
It means we give the benefit of the doubt.

We love.

It means we offer mercy.
It means we show compassion
It means we open our heart.

We love.

It means we tell the truth.
It means we defend.
It means we do not harm.

We love.

It means we lead.
It means we follow.
It means we build each other up.

We love.

It means you.
It means me.
It means the world.

We love.

First Things: Orion

Since the election of Donald Trump on Tuesday night i've been in a real stupor. Those of us on the left feel like hope died with the end of Hillary Clinton's campaign. Having just gone through a major loss this year, there are similar depths to the sting of this election. The weight of the fear that hangs over us is enormous.

I could keep going on the details of that, but it would not be a First Things blog ...

With the above in mind, last night I finally had a moment to work out. Walking back from the gym, I had my headphones in, but no music. I was just silently thinking and praying about our country and what is to come. I turned the corner to my street and looked up and saw him.

Orion

There he was, rising above the trees in the southeastern sky. And my heart skipped. I literally said out loud, "HEYYYYY!" It was an immediate, unfiltered, from the depths of my humanity, moment of child-like joy. I posted the moment to Facebook, because I needed to share some happiness.

Then I walked a bit more and saw him again as I passed a tree and came to my house.

And I started to cry. Not a sad cry. A good cry. The kind of cry you have when you receive a heavenly message that reminds you how everything is ok. 

It was like God was saying through this silly constellation - "Hey, don't worry. I'm still here, watching over everything. I've got my bow and my quiver of arrows. It's going to be alright."

And then I started laughing at myself... At my ridiculous sappiness and that I was crying about seeing a favorite constellation in the sky. And how much I love those moments.

So I hope you find something that gives you child like joy today. Celebrate it. Enjoy it. Use it.

First Things: Do Things Right Away

I have a written note on the dry-erase board in my office that says "DO THINGS RIGHT AWAY." It's in green at the top right corner.  It has been there for years. I should move it to the middle of the board so that I see it more frequently.

We prioritize things all of the time. We have to in order to be able to get things done and not miss deadlines. The most important things usually come first, right? Right? Well... Let's be honest. We do the things we like or we know aren't going to be difficult first. Be honest with yourself.

I do.

Which is why I have that written on my board.

If something is important - do it right away - no matter what it is or how much you like it.

Many years ago I heard a pastor give a teaching on communion just before administering it during a service. He was talking about his husband, who had passed away, and was fondly remembering his morning ritual. Each morning he would go to the kitchen and have a little communion all by himself with a cracker and juice, daily remembering the sacrifice and love of Christ before he started the day.

That inspired me to do the same... although I am no where near consistent on it. When I do, however, I often think of taking the bread, or cracker, or "host" as taking on the strength of Christ in me. He had the strength to go through a mockery of a trial, be whipped to near death and then hang on a cross for three hours and die a torturous death because he knew he had to.  If the strength of Christ can get him through that... it can help me call that person to ask about a past due invoice, or email someone for something, or freaking get up 10 minutes earlier.  It can enable me to DO THINGS RIGHT AWAY - for Christ's Sake (LITERALLY).

If you aren't the Christian faith-sort... find your own source of strength, that thing that empowers you, that emboldens you, and use that to DO THINGS RIGHT AWAY.  People push through much worse than what many of us face every day - sometimes just to live.  Whatever you've got, you can push through to do one thing you've put on the back burner and make an accomplishment beyond yourself.

First Things: CUBS WIN

Today: Two Words

CUBS WIN

OK, a few more than two words...
I think one of my favorite things about the Cubs road to the World Series was the singing. All of those Cubs Fans and all of Chicago singing that Go Cubs Go! song.  In a time when everyone seems at odds with everyone else it was so nice to see thousands (millions?) of people united and happy to be together for one thing.

Go Cubs Go
Indeed.

First Things: Maha Nai Boo Ebowai

Yesterday we opened The Book Of Mormon at the Fisher Theatre.

The Book Of Mormon is an interesting show. I love it. But not just because it's ridiculously funny, clever, witty and smart - but because of the overall message of its story.

"We can make THIS our paradise planet," states Elder Price at the end of the show. And they do.

As a person of faith, it is always important to remember that our faith is not just in God, or Christ, or whatever deity/power you believe - but in the power of that faith to breathe and live and change lives among us. It reminds me of my favorite Bible verse

"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." - I John 3:18

In The Book Of Mormon, Elder Cunningham cares enough about the people of the village that he takes the time to inspire them with stories, and they rise up and begin to believe in each other and in themselves again.

The show gets a bad rep from the religious because of, well - many things, but particularly Hasa Diga Ebowai, a large production number in the show which basically sings F-you God.  If one was to believe the teachings of Jerry Fallwell, Pat Robertson and their like, it should follow that The Lord would have smitten the show for its ill repute and its success would have been limited.

But the show goes on and on with tremendous success.

And at the end... in the same melody as Hasa Diga Ebowai, they sing Maha Nai Boo Ebowai, which is THANK YOU GOD.

If anything, the show is a story of reconciliation and salvation. And that's why it keeps doing so well. And its why I am inspired by it every time I see it.